6.21.07
10. The old lady with her dog on her lap trying to drive:
This isn't that common but I see it all the time, the lady thinks shes still
on the couch at home with little fluffy on her lap, except little fluffy is
jumping around the car, getting in her face and trying to get some air from
the window.
9. The too many teenagers in one old beater car: Is this a safety
hazard or what? Hey dude lets pack all our friends into dad's old hand me
down oldsmobile and drive around doing nothing but annoying people on the
road.
8. The landscaper trailer: Sometimes these guys think they own the
road, hey lets stop traffic while I decide how I want to park, hey lets cut
people off and disregard all sane and logical safe driving habits because
I have a gigantic trailer with lawn mowers attached to my truck.
7. The ghetto blaster: I always wonder what older uptight white people
think anytime a guy drives by with a beatup car with a stereo system blasting
the newest possible Jay-Z song at a totally unnecessary volume.
6. The old couple driver at least 10 mph under the speed limit: If
the general practice is to drive about 5 miles over the speed limit, the general
practice for old couples is to drive at least 10 under. Most of the time theyre
not even sure where theyre going.
5. The speed racer wanabe: Ok I'm all for working on your car and modifying
it, but doing that doesn't necessarily give you a license to weave in and
out of traffic, cut people off, speed excessively, and turn parking lots into
personal race tracks.
4. The SUV cell phone painting nails drinking starbucks lady: You're
driving a 7 ton car designed for off roading and rough terrain. pay attention,
you can pick up your poodle from the luxury dog spa 10 minutes late and not
kill somebody today.
3. The overpriced sports car mid-life crisis guy: There's nothing wrong with making money and being successful in life. There's something wrong with an aging man trying to justify his existance and find meaning in life with a car that costs more than the price of feeding a small latin american country.
2. The stop light starer: Everyone knows what I'm talking about. They have to stop exactly parallel to your car so they can get a good look. You can feel their eyes penetrating your soul as you wait for the light to turn green. Why are they staring? Are they dangerous? Why aren't they ever attractive?
1. The compulsive tailgater: They drive 5 inches behind you. They flash their lights so you break the speed limit since they're in such a hurry. They recklessly speed to pass you only to be stopped next to you at the light at the next intersection. They come in all shapes and sizes and are usually impatient doushes. Sometimes you catch yourself being one when you're driving behind old people.
